This is possibly the scariest thing I've ever done... Don't get me wrong, I've lead a life mostly out side the box. I've been wild and crazy and stupid... I've lived, I've always paid the price, I've survived. I have baggage, I've also over come and shrunk the baggage to minimal size.
But my biggest regret, the thing that haunts me, has been never having the guts to even really try to make a living doing what I love. When I graduated from high school, my parents and I discussed my college options. We even went and checked out a local art school... but in the end I was too chicken, didn't believe in my own talents enough and decided instead to attend a local community college for a couple of years before heading off to a small liberal arts college in Durango, CO - Ft. Lewis. I majored in English. I got my minor in Art, and one in German. At the time I'd convinced myself I'd be an English teacher. I ended up temping after college, leading me to the corporate world and never escaped. I will make that happen in the next year if it kills me. I have to.
This gets me so worked up; emotional and weepy. Just thinking about it makes me tear up, and it's not in my nature to be so sappy. It's so personal, it's part of me I'm selling out there. The fear - little purple monsters - starts creeping in from all sides, the little voices, the nagging doubts. And then another part of me says "NO! No more. I can do this, not only that, I will do it and I am doing it, NOW!"
The reason I can do this is because I've finally reached that point... you know, the point that I'm truly happy in my personal life, the point I'd given up hoping would ever happen. My husband and our children, well let's just say I've never been in such a good place. My whole life I've been consumed with finding the kind of peace and happiness I now have because of them. And because this part of my life is finally (after almost 39 years) solid, I can now turn my focus on creating for a living.
So here it is, my creed, my manifesto, my damn it list (Inspiration for the Damn It List & Explanation from The Fluent Self)
- I am going to live a creative life (by that I mean own and run as my sole means of income my own independent craft shop in the next
three twoyear) if it kills me damn it!
- My husband, children & family are my foundation, sanity, support & heart. I love and cherish them.
- Balancing the first and second bullets is top priority.
- I am a creator, over the top, bold and distinctive - so are my perspectives and my creations.
- I will continue to hone my skills, take classes & learn new skills in order to make my crafts even better.
- I will quit the corporate world in the next
three twoyear and never go back.
- I will not let fear cripple my passion.
- I will run my business with integrity, fairness and great customer service.
- I stand for creativity, thinking independently, learning, and growing.
- I believe in overcoming your weaknesses, finding your strengths and pursuing your passions.
- I promote being a responsible, engaged parent who provides a structured environment while allowing a child to learn for themselves without scheduling every moment of their day or giving away parental control for a child's whim.