Lush Family

Latest hat: listed on Etsy, new larger size, covered in Sparkle Tulle
And a Debate
I'm having a debate... in my mind. It's about moving and where to go. As some of you may know, my family lives in Texas, in the suburbs of Dallas but also have a house outside of Tucson, AZ (don't ask me why they have two hot homes). My husband's family lives near Pueblo, CO and we live in Denver. We are seriously considering moving from Colorado to either... wait for it... Dallas or Portland.

What? Really? That's a CHOICE?
Yes, I know to many this is not a debate and I probably seem nuts.  Those who are not from Texas, do not understand it, or why Texans love it so much. Those from Texas can't understand why everyone doesn't love Texas as much as they do. Dallas is the 5th largest city in the US and has a little bit of everything, including hellish heat/humidity, the bible belt, a fashion mart, killer food and a low cost of living. As for Portland, well, it's cool as in hip and cool in temp, artsy, lush, beautiful, fiercely liberal, near the ocean...and wet and dreary and somewhat expensive - except when compared to Denver. For that matter, many people I know can not believe that I would for any reason ever want to leave Colorado.

Of Closets and Bathrooms
When Greg and I got engaged, my son and I moved into his house. It's cost effective, cute, has a great school for Ely and Greg truly enjoys having a house vs an apartment (not sharing walls), but I miss my old apartment. The problem lies with the size of the house, which was perfect for him & his daughter while he was a bachelor. However, we're a little smooshed for space, well, that is, a lot smooshed.

I had to put most of my belongings into storage, and he had to put a bunch of his in as well. I miss my books, my photo albums, and knick knacks, all of the decorations that always made my home mine.  At this point our bedroom closet - which is dark and is the size of a door... gives me a mini panic attack every time I look at it.  I have to keep the majority of my clothes - I have excessive amounts - in the basement for the same season and in storage for all the rest of the seasons along with the majority of my beautiful shoe collection - which I can't wear anyway due to my feet and knees having a full on mutiny, refusing to allow me to wear any kind of heel for over a year... but I digress and that's another story. My reaction to this confinement and claustrophobic panic is to leave most of the few clothes I can wear crumpled on my desk. This is not very adult of me, and while I have separate mini panic attacks over the growing desk pile, it's only enough to get me to clear it off & hang everything up about once a month - or two - sometimes three. Arg! I know. I'm ashamed.

My poor husband has to keep his clothes in the basement...I did try to clear some space in one of my two dressers but he didn't utilize it so I took it back. I know it could be worse and this is my spoiled side coming through... but still.  My reaction to cramped, is malfunction.  I will try not to go on about my last apartment, but the BEST thing about it was the bathroom, which was huge, had a long counter, a wall of mirrors, double sinks, a garden tub and a walk in closet you could fit a king sized mattress in.  Now THAT's what I call a bathroom/closet. I LOVED it. But I love my husband more. Our house has one bathroom (even my apartment had two full baths - it had double master bedrooms, okay I'll stop) with four occupants. In our small bathroom there is only a stand alone sink, no counter, more ARG! No SPACE.  Beside all of this, in the rest of the house there is little room for crafting, which is what I do. So more of the Arg!  Not that this is in any way anyone's fault - it's just the situation.


We must move
We all agree, we must move. Initially we thought the cramped would only be for a year (I told myself, you can live anywhere for a year, suck it up) & then we'd move into a larger place, but given the neighborhood, the very tiny school district, and the cost of housing in Denver, that's no longer looking like an option. Even if we move to a different district it just doesn't make much sense to us any more. We can't afford to buy a house here, not and be anywhere we want to live in the Denver area.

So now what?
At the same time we were discussing where to live we started discussing where we really want to be and what we want to be doing. Both of us are creative types and are pursuing those dreams.  We are working towards living off our artistic endeavors - and quiting our "day jobs".

In the midst of this, my health is not conducive to staying in Colorado. The climate is simply too dry for my system and I've been told by my doctors as long as I stay here I will continue to be sick. Period. I need to live in a moist climate in order to be (more) healthy. I have been fighting with the dry for 17 years, and have chronic non-allergenic rhinitis - no allergies.  Chronic inflammation of the sinus cavities due to anything in the air I breathe getting stuck in there, worsened by the dryness which turns into a sinus infection because I've had almost all of the mucus membranes in my head removed and in all, my sinus don't work properly.  This is a whole long topic in of itself, but let's wrap it up by saying I have had 4 sinus surgeries which have only helped in that I am still alive. Whoop-di-do.

Happiness
According to happiness studies, a big part of being happy is being close to friends and family.  I believe that my son will benefit from being closer to his grandparents.  He is very close with them and they really saw me through the hard times of my divorce.  They are retired now and in their 70s. This is a huge component in this decision.  Of course this means my husband will be farther away from his parents while I'd be closer to mine (quandary). We also have some "extended" family in the Dallas area - it's where most of the "Village" who raised me live.

Another added benefit is that since my parents do have two homes, they'd be willing to let us stay at their Dallas house, while they live out of their AZ house so we can get settled - find a house of our own, figure out school districts etc.  So the transition here would be fairly easy.

As for work, you may be wondering what the plan is with that. We are hoping Greg will be working "from home" full time by then, in which case he can work anywhere. We hope I'll only need to find a part time job, perhaps in a craft store, to fill in the finances from my Etsy business which I hope to expand beyond hats as well. Dallas has a fairly good job market, did I mention they have a Fashion Mart? And they have lots of craft stores.

But then there's the heat...
Which kills us. I am not a heat person, unless I am in the swimming pool, then bring it. Seriously, my body temperature regulation system is that of a lizard. However, with the approach of my 40's I now have no cold, only hot. Over hot... most of the time. Night sweats are no joke. I now understand. And I thought it was bad when I was pregnant and would run into the bathroom and lay on the cold tile floors to cool off. Nope this is worse. So that is a definite negative, but as my mother always says, everything - I mean everything - is air conditioned in Texas. And I do love to swim, and so does the rest of my family. So then that's a bonus. Hummm, this is tough.

To Recap
Dallas = cost effective, family support, healthier Darian, transitional housing, a bigger place to live for roughly the same amount of money, better job options, swimming and closer to parents approaching elderly - just in case.

And then there's Portland
It's beautiful and lush. The humidity will be just as good for my health. It has a very creative atmosphere. Havi, and Chris live in Portland so that's a plus.  Maybe I could get to play at the playground. And according to them Portland is fabulous.  There is the issue of a terrible job market, but as mentioned before we hope to not need to really be looking for jobs there. But it leaves very little fall back room.

And then there is the whole, Portland underground culture; the actual underground - there are even walking tours of it, plus underground music, art, films and fantastic foodie restaurants. Mmmmm so much good to explore. And the heat won't really be an issue - another one in the plus column. The lack of sun may become one, but after 3 years in the Netherlands - which has very similar weather, I think I'd be okay with it.

Here is an interesting statistic...  this is just a Darian quick internet research evaluation. Based on the three cities DMA ranking:
Portland is listed as the 22nd largest US City. It has 265 stores listed under Arts & Crafts in Yelp.
Denver is #17, it has 140 stores listed.
Dallas is #5, it has 169 stores listed.
So my logic says there are more craft stores supporting more interest in crafts for the population of Portland given it's relative size. This is good since what I do is craft and my ultimate goal is to own a craft store.  It is a crafty town and has a community full of crafters and creative people. On the other hand, perhaps Dallas needs more craft stores.

Conclusion
In my heart of hearts, I know it's going to be Dallas. At this point it simply is the best option. But I keep thinking of Portland as the place to be.... perhaps in 10 years when Ely is off to college and it's just the two of us Portland will become our retirement home, our future dream shop.  We are planning a trip out to Portland towards the end of March. Perhaps this will be the deciding factor. One way or another a decision has to be made in the next few months as our lease is coming up the end of May.

Figuring out the logistics of making two life long dreams come true when stacked up along with family and health is a daunting task.  I know we'll figure it out and we'll make the best of wherever we are.

Halloween Monster Costume Photos and Hat Update

Monster Smash
So the Monster costume discussed in my last post came out great once it was all put together. Some lessons learned, for instance, that when making monster feet, don't get too extreme with them.  By this I mean, when I made ours I made the feet & toes really big, going for maximum monster effect, but wasn't accounting for how much wear & tear the strain of the additional length would have on the whole piece. After going to the Colorado Railroad Museum on Saturday for their Trick or Treating and walking around for an hour or two both Ely & my feet broke. Ely's in a more spectacular way, practically exploding off his foot while chasing Cyrus around an open area.  Mine on the other hand only split one foot down the side from walking.

So there you are, lesson learned: Keep Monster Feet/Toes only 1-2" longer than the shoe (mine were approx. 6-8" longer than my shoe).

So on Sunday night Greg & I went out to The Church nightclub and I had to wear boots instead, which was probably for the best since my toes probably would have been stepped on had I been wearing the monster feet, and dancing may have been an exercise in not falling.
Here are a couple of photos from both events:

Recharge
So after Halloween, I experienced some kind of energy lull. Perhaps adjusting to the time change. Obviously I wasn't posting on here, but I also wasn't making hats.  I think I just need a little time to recover from the Halloween rush, it came upon me so quickly this year, I was unprepared and was rushing to complete my many mini witch hats in time.
Steampunk Inspiration
Now that my creative batteries have been re-charged, I'm back at it. I was inspired by THIS and have just listed on Etsy a fabulous new Time Travel inspired Steampunk style hat that has a clock work "flower".  It was so much fun to make and figure out.

More to Come
I am also working on several vinyl - the shiny PVC kind - hats, and working on another version of the snow leopard fake fur hat, so much in the works!

Think Monster

It's creeping around the corner in high top sneakers (he's one of my favorites)
So here we are 3 short days until Halloween.  There is still the possibility of a couple of last minute orders getting out - with some additional shipping costs for any of you who are last minute costume shopping.  Anyone still need a fabulous witch hat for their costume? Let me know!

It's been a great first run at a holiday season - so far.  I figure Halloween is my primary season for hats but there are some new products in the works to extend my reach. I have ideas, I'm brainstorming and open to suggestions, too.

On another note... a Purple Monster Note
This Halloween I've been so occupied with making hats, I was having a hard time feeling inspired for my own costume... until I came across a link to this tutorial while researching sewing techniques the other day - How to make MONSTER FEET!  What? Easy to make fabulous MONSTER FEET??? Yes, really! It inspired me to no end, setting off a completely manic spree of Monster Feet making that lead to my inevitable conclusion... I MUST be a One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater for Halloween this year! Yes, definitely!

Now, how to pull this off?
Well, I learned how to make dreaded roving wool hair falls.

Then I made a Hat - because of course I have to wear a hat.

And I needed to have only one eye... so I made an eye patch

And I needed a horn, so I made two, but will only wear one of them for this costume. 

And I'd need some kind of Monster Fur Shirt - I added to a purple tank top I already had

 And I'd need arm and leg warmers out of Monster Fur too, of course!

But what to wear on my butt? Well a TUTU of course! With purple tights and fishnets over the top to look like scales and black bicycle shorts to make sure I'm covered. As I'm sure those who know me are aware, I already had the tutu. 

AND MONSTER FEET!!!!! Not the best picture, there will be more, but yes, my toenails are painted silver, because everyone knows that girly monsters like silver toes!

Oh, and one last thing to top it all off... I had to have some kind of Monster purse to carry for the night, a normal purse simply wouldn't due! (Covered a small cardboard box & made a lid & a chain shoulder strap.)

I think that does it. BUT just in case, someone might want to see... here are the MONSTER FEET we made for my husband & children.  Madelynn made her own in silver and Ely & I worked together on his (green) & Greg's (black).

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! 

Creator Dark Survivor Glitter Fairy Princess

That is who I truly am. Me with my muchness full blown. And it is the me I am trying to find again. The past 8 years have been simply too much for my muchness; the good, the bad, the ugly - way too much of the bad and the ugly - but reaping more of the good, finally.  My muchness potion had lost it's potency with stress' constant presence. So it's time for a new recipe. 


In the revised potion of me, I've added a touch more of the mature yet still cool Creator, crafter, mom-ness me, than the Glitter Fairy Princess (GFP) - but enough of the GFP me to keep things fun and spontaneous.  There is no more need for Dark me, who is my protector and joined at the hip to Survivor me.  Both were once key ingredients and will always be revered for their robust and complex flavors. For now, I've only stirred in a pinch of each.  They have been released to go play in the woods, and be called upon if more is needed.  


So now I ask, what will give my revised potion for muchness the added kick of sustainability?
Start my own craft business of course!  I am finally happy and supported in my personal life, giving me that stabilizing hand to hold while taking the first steps of this journey towards my treasured childhood dream.  Yes, I know it doesn't go with the rest of the metaphors in this post but bear with me.  The challenge and the joy of creating something new every day is sinking in to the new potion.  Now combined with the shop, it is already re-charging my fuel cells reviving me, in the way a stew or potion just gets better when cooked long and slow as the nutrients sink in and the flavors marinate. No microwaved soup for dinner this time but a genuinely filling slow cooked meal feeding my muchness for a long time to come.  It's happening.  It's really happening.  I am overwhelmed with how amazing this feels.  Thank you. Thank you to everyone.  I am grateful. 


Hummm, all this food talk has made me hungry for lunch. 
And thank you Havi, your blog inspired me to write this blog. 

Image by RubyDragonMoon via Photobucket, used under a Creative Commons license.

Tune up

So I just got back my sewing machine from the repair shop. Whoo Hoo! More hats in the making tonight!

I've had my Baby Lock for about 15 years, I call her Betty, and had never taken her in for a tune up and then on my last move she got accidentally dropped... okay well actually I had a fit while sewing a piece of vinyl (it sticks to the metal presser foot) and Betty got knocked off my sewing table - uh accidentally, yeah, that's what happened uh huh.  I don't normally have a temper about these things, just when machines don't do what they were designed to do - sew darn you sew, I'm going out tonight and I NEEED my shiny skirt done!  After the fall she started making strange noises, having problems with the tension & not behaving well at all - so I took her in. Apparently you are supposed to maintain these kinds of machines with regular oiling and cleanings.  I hadn't. I lost the manual so long ago I haven't the faintest idea where it could be & I can't find one online... I've looked, Betty's too old.

It seemed she had indigestion from all of the goopy thread fabric particle things getting in her gears...and she was getting very noisy.  So I brought her in, and was humbled by the long lecture on proper care and maintenance of a sewing machine I received from the elder repair man. Bad sewing machine owner, bad girl, sit, stay.  I was told several times that my Baby Lock is a good machine because she is older and they will likely be able to get her back in to very good condition. Which they did - even though it took 2.5 weeks and the kicker, it cost $315 to get her back. Yikes! For that price I could have gone down to Jo-Ann's Fabric's and purchased a brand new Singer.  I won't give up on Betty, and Baby Locks are way, way better machines anyway. I have a quality Betty and she's staying with me.

So tonight Betty & I will be off to the sewing races... hopefully more quietly.  I can't wait to test her out. I even went today and purchased machine oil to maintain her AND I found a Teflon presser foot for her that is specifically made for freaks ( like me) who sew vinyl! So cool.... Maybe vinyl hats... oooh... the shiny. Love the shiny! =) 

Some Background and my manifesto

This is possibly the scariest thing I've ever done... Don't get me wrong, I've lead a life mostly out side the box. I've been wild and crazy and stupid... I've lived, I've always paid the price, I've survived.  I have baggage, I've also over come and shrunk the baggage to minimal size.
But my biggest regret, the thing that haunts me, has been never having the guts to even really try to make a living doing what I love. When I graduated from high school, my parents and I discussed my college options. We even went and checked out a local art school... but in the end I was too chicken, didn't believe in my own talents enough and decided instead to attend a local community college for a couple of years before heading off to a small liberal arts college in Durango, CO - Ft. Lewis. I majored in English. I got my minor in Art, and one in German. At the time I'd convinced myself I'd be an English teacher.  I ended up temping after college, leading me to the corporate world and never escaped. I will make that happen in the next year if it kills me.  I have to.

This gets me so worked up; emotional and weepy. Just thinking about it makes me tear up, and it's not in my nature to be so sappy. It's so personal, it's part of me I'm selling out there. The fear - little purple monsters - starts creeping in from all sides, the little voices, the nagging doubts. And then another part of me says "NO! No more. I can do this, not only that, I will do it and I am doing it, NOW!"
The reason I can do this is because I've finally reached that point... you know, the point that I'm truly happy in my personal life, the point I'd given up hoping would ever happen.  My husband and our children, well let's just say I've never been in such a good place. My whole life I've been consumed with finding the kind of peace and happiness I now have because of them. And because this part of my life is finally (after almost 39 years) solid, I can now turn my focus on creating for a living.

So here it is, my creed, my manifesto, my damn it list (Inspiration for the Damn It List & Explanation from The Fluent Self)

• I am going to live a creative life (by that I mean own and run as my sole means of income my own independent craft shop in the next three two year) if it kills me damn it!
• My husband, children & family are my foundation, sanity, support & heart. I love and cherish them. 
• Balancing the first and second bullets is top priority.
• I am a creator, over the top, bold and distinctive - so are my perspectives and my creations.
• I will continue to hone my skills, take classes & learn new skills in order to make my crafts even better.
• I will quit the corporate world in the next three two year and never go back.
• I will not let fear cripple my passion.
• I will run my business with integrity, fairness and great customer service.
• I stand for creativity, thinking independently, learning, and growing.  
• I believe in overcoming your weaknesses, finding your strengths and pursuing your passions.
• I promote being a responsible, engaged parent who provides a structured environment while allowing a child to learn for themselves without scheduling every moment of their day or giving away parental control for a child's whim. 

Thanks for letting me share this! What's your manifesto - your damn it list?